Beyond The Gender Binary - Alok Vaid-Menon
Alok Vaid-Menon’s bite-sized book Beyond The Gender Binary is full of the intelligence and insight of the author as they examine and deconstruct Western notions of gender. Part of The Pocket Change Collective series, Beyond The Gender Binary evaluates the ways in which a binary, black-and-white understanding of gender is damaging to us all – boys, girls, men, women (both cis and trans) and non-binary children, teens and adults.
Alok begins the work by providing the reader with anecdotes from their early life. They discuss the ways in which they were mercilessly bullied throughout school, especially by boys. Alok writes, “Boy spaces traumatised me because they were where I experienced the most harassment. I didn’t go to the restroom in middle school and high school because I was so afraid. As soon as I got home, I would rush to the toilet. This is what happens when fear becomes stronger than need”.
Alok discusses the irony in being called a girl by these bullies (as an insult, for being too effeminate) – that is, until they accepted themselves as a non-binary person. Then, they were called a boy! Alok discusses the idea of feeling ‘wrong’ by society’s standards. They write about the bullying, “the idea here was that if you were a boy who displayed even a hint of femininity, then you were gay. And if you were gay, then you were wrong. And if you were wrong, that meant they had licence to beat you up in the name of morality”.
The subject matter of the short work is serious, with Alok delving into the high levels of suicide in the gender non-conforming and non-binary community, citing the many ways in which mainstream Western society is committed to misunderstanding this marginalised group. “People prioritise their comfort over our livelihood”, Alok aptly writes. Alok also discusses the many laws enacted at local, state and federal levels that target gender non-conforming people in damaging ways (think of laws that prohibit teachers from teaching students about gender diversity, or laws barring people who are not cisgender from accessing healthcare).
A key takeaway from this work is that the gender binary is largely cultural, not biological. Alok writes of how emotions, clothing, colours, relationships and even food is segregated into being ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’. The result of this binary is truly damaging. This work highlights how it is easier, more human and more humane, to simply let people be who they are; let girls be loud and boys be sensitive and please, let’s us cis people do this learning and unlearning so that non-binary people may live their most authentic lives, too.
