men who hate women - laura bates
Please note this blog post mentions sexual harassment, sexual assault, murder, rape and male violence/misogyny.
Laura Bates’ 2020 work Men Who Hate Women should be essential reading for all. Many of us (myself included) consider ourselves to be well-versed in our understanding of the manifestation of modern misogyny and toxic masculinity; and yet there is no doubt you will be blown away, as I was, by what you learn from this book.
Men Who Hate Women sees Bates go undercover to infiltrate the many online misogynist (and also by nature white supremacist/alt-right) groups that exist on various social media platforms and online forums. The book opens with a chapter on incels, with Bates positioning her reader to understand how dangerous these online communities, and the men who frequent them, truly are.
Part of the chapter is dedicated to unpacking and translating the language of incel forums for the reader. Incels use words that are designed to dehumanise women, including ‘femoids’ (relegating women to ‘robot’ status) and ‘roasties’ (based on an obviously incorrect and highly offensive assumption that women who have engaged in a lot of sexual intercourse have deformed labias that resemble roast beef). Incels also refer to attractive, sexually desirable women as ‘Stacys’ and the men who sleep with these women as ‘Chads’. These latter terms fit in with a wider problematic ideology within the community; the idea of a ‘sexual marketplace’ wherein, incels believe, a small majority of ‘alpha’ men in society sleep with the vast majority of women, leaving few women for most other men. The incel solution to this apparent problem is extreme – the legalisation of rape. Bates enlightens the reader to the ways in which men on incel forums encourage and instruct other members of this community to attack and assault women. Indeed, another term that is common on incel forums is ‘rapecel’, incels who feel they must resort to rape as a twisted solution to their involuntary celibacy.
Bates goes on in this chapter to share the ways in which the toxic online ideology of incels infiltrates the real world, devastating and destroying real lives. Probably the most notable incel killing spree in recent years were the 2014 Isla Vista murders, carried out by Elliot Rodger. Rodger wrote a manifesto over one hundred thousand words in length, explicitly citing wanting revenge on women who rejected him as a motive for the killings. Rodger killed six people and injured fourteen others, before turning his gun on himself. Disturbingly, incel communities lionised Rodger for the attack online. He became (and remains) something of a martyr for the community, with copycat attacks occurring in following years.
Indeed, as the chapter progresses, Bates outlines more and more instances of men who went on misogynistic murder sprees; I had heard of Rodgers and perhaps one or two others, but the sheer volume of the cases outlined was overwhelming. By the end of the chapter the murderers listed by Bates have a total count of 51 people dead and 69 injured, all with direct links to online extremist misogynist communities. I will not pretend the content of this chapter was not disturbing - of course it was. You may feel a mix of fear and revulsion while reading, as I did. However, Bates argues her case well; we must take this threat seriously.
The next few chapters explore other men who lurk in the ‘manosphere’, which is a term for the collection of online spaces where misogynists congregate. Bates has a chapter about Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), hetero men who choose to reject relationships with women based on the notion that ‘feminism has corrupted society’, and Pick Up Artists (PUAs), who are more at first glance more socially palatable than incels or MGTOW. Portrayed by media as lovable, cheeky scoundrels (think Neil Patrick Harris’ character Barney Stinson from HIMYM), in actuality many Pick Up Artists, like incels, not only advocate for the harassment and assault of women but actually train other men in how to do it; all while making a handsome sum of money. Bates highlights the ludicrous money these men charge for their workshops and retreats; you’ll have to read the work to truly understand the eye-watering nature of it all.
The power of Men Who Hate Women, in my opinion, is how Bates has constructed each chapter to represent a link in the chain of the modern-day misogyny she writes of. Bates expertly tells the terrifying story of how extremist, misogynist ideologies that begins on incel forums and dark corners of the internet slowly creeps up the chain, making its way from MGTOW into the books and workshops of Pick Up Artists, where it is further promoted by television hosts and gossipy tabloids and then, eventually, ends up in the minds of the men who are running our governments. This section of the book was perhaps the most interesting to me, though your dormant rage at Donald Trump may be re-ignited here.
Bates also is unequivocally clear about the insidious impact social media platforms such as YouTube, Reddit and Facebook have in spreading these dangerous ideologies. She argues that these platforms must do much more in order to moderate and monitor the content on their platforms, and explains how their failure to do so is, of course, all about money. To really drive her point home, Bates conducts an experiment to show her reader just how easy it is for young, vulnerable boys to become indoctrinated into hating women by the algorithms of these platforms. This part of the book sees Bates clear her browser history and cookies, and begin browsing the web from an incognito window to ensure she is starting from a neutral place. She types the innocuous question ‘what is feminism?’ into YouTube and allows the algorithm do what it will. As soon as the video stops playing, a second one is lined up; this one of Milo Yiannopoulous of the alt-right arguing, virtually unopposed, about how harmful feminism is. It is easy to see how young boys who are simply curious about feminism can quickly be swept up into this world of vitriolic hatred.
Men Who Hate Women is a very challenging read. Men Who Hate Women is a very necessary read. If you think that the world is becoming a safer place for women, if you think online misogyny poses no real threat - this work will change your mind. Men Who Hate Women is a grim reminder of just how far we have yet to go in the fight for a safe world for women and marginalised groups.
